Online dating essay
They have never experienced the difficult problem of turning away a suitor without hurting his/her feelings.Similarly, they have avoided getting their own feelings hurt when they were the one who was being rejected.Mammals and birds, and other animals have to win the attention of a possible mate. They make the following objections, which I have described in a previous post and in a somewhat different context: Meeting strangers is potentially dangerous. Meeting people through the agency of these dating sites is no more or less dangerous than meeting them any other way.In prehistoric times, individuals probably had to choose from only a half-dozen or so potential partners. An argument for internet dating: We have now, in the time of the internet, an inestimably huge number of potential mates, or to put it in the current vernacular, dates. Presenting oneself publicly as wishing to meet someone suggests, in the minds of some people, that such a person is driven to dating this way because he/she is unsuccessful dating in a more conventional way. Patients whom I have known who date successfully are largely inclined to date people they meet in all sorts of places, church, work, parties, and so on—It is important to realize and accept that any single dating opportunity is not likely to result in a long-term relationship, SO YOU MUST NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED BECAUSE OF REPEATED FAILURES.
I think that those who meet the right person right away are probably unlucky, rather than lucky. In prehistoric times, when human beings travelled in small bands of perhaps fifty to a hundred people, there could not have been much choice of mates.
Finding the right person is like trying to fit an unusually shaped peg into a similarly shaped hole.
There are plenty of people that fit, but they are a very small minority of all the people out there.
Do not pretend to being more exciting than you are. Of the next batch of people you reach out to, two respond. One of them who has pretended to be well-educated makes a bad grammatical error, and compounds the offence by telling an off-color joke. Since many of these dates are immediately unsatisfactory, there is no reason to make the experience last any longer than necessary.
Try to come across as a serious person who likes to do things and is interested in new things. Since everyone has a tendency to exaggerate, try to seem genuine. You are likely to find four or five people who seem to be appealing. You reach out to them, but only one or two respond; and they seem unenthusiastic. If the two of you are getting along great, you can change those plans.
Putting it simply, good things happen to people sometimes just by luck alone, without much effort, but not often. Is it likely that the first house you look at will turn out to be the house of your dreams? More likely you will have to look at fifteen or twenty houses before you decide to buy one.